Wellness coaching is built to include the life coaching principle that the agenda is set by the client.  Yet we find our clients often arriving with expectations of receiving a ready-to-go program for “how to be well”.  Coaching is not about delivering a “how to be well” prescription and signing a client up to follow a regiment of eating this, not that and exercising this way not that way. In teaching health and wellness coaches I always say that our clients know how to be “patients”, they know how to be “students”, but they don’t yet know how to be “clients”.  A foundational step with any client is co-creating the alliance, and that means getting clear about the age-old que stion of “Who’s responsible for what?”  Our clients want to know what we will provide for them in the way of guidance and resources, and what they will be responsible for.  At the same time they are usually looking to us for answers.  Ahhh…coach, don’t take the bait!  Remember the old coaching maxim “The client has the answers, the coach has the questions.”  Yet, we find our frustrated client, desperate for success in lifestyle change saying, “Just tell me what to do!  Please!”

Self-directedness Varies - The reality is that we must recognize the individual differences in our clients and respect them.  All of our clients fall somewhe re on a continuum from very high levels of self-directedness to very low levels of self-directedness and they are all OK! As a coach we are not here to judge our clients.  The effective (and ethical) coach accepts the client exactly where they are at.  If they are indeed a candidate for coaching, not referral, then we work with them and respect their need for direction, guidance and suggestion, all done with their permission. Self-directed clients love to chart their own course, take initiative and don’t always wait for direction.  They go for it!  They are great candidates for coaching systems that are supplemented by online features for communication and tracking.  Less self-directed clients may be very motivated, but will look for a “go-ahead” from the coach before taking action.  They appreciate more structure, in fact they thrive on it.  Remember, the difference here is not good and bad, it’s just differences in style.

An example would be a wellness coaching client who has as part of their wellness plan, attaining a healthy-for-them weight.  Chances are good they have already tried and failed at some sort of weight-loss program before.  They may show up for coaching hoping that our program will be better than the last one.  Even if we provide an excellent coaching structure and methodology for change such as the Wellness Mapping 360° method we are still not telling them what to eat and how to exercise (like they may be asking for).  Helping them build their own Wellness Plan may still seem like it is too vague for some clients where others will revel in the freedom to do it themselves.  Our hope is that with their increased input to the co-creation of a plan there will be much more “buy-in” and motivation to succeed.  With their own customization there will be a better fit and a greater probability of success.

Co-creation - Let’s say however, that our client is not very self-directed.  They may be very good at working with us, and at keeping track of their behavior (self-monitoring), but unless we fill the gap with some direction, little action takes place towards the next step.  This client is good at working with agreements co-created in coaching.  The sharp coach keeps track of these agreements and makes sure they are in place for the next coaching meeting.  The client is clear about exactly what they need to do, to work on, to follow through with, to find out information about, etc. and we follow through with the accountability that they thrive on.  But, how are these agreements set?  How are they co-created?

Recognizing the level of self-directedness of our clients comes from experience and experimentation with our clients and by directly asking them.  After we have pursued powerful questions to help them explore a new direction or sought new information we can ask permission to provide some suggestions.  “Would you like some good resources on effective nutritional guidelines?”  If your client isn’t going to go and see a registered dietician that you recommend, have some resources you know are recognized to be valid and respected to turn them on to.

Instead of telling your client “You should (a taboo word right there!) eat more of this and less of that!”, ask them what has worked for them before, what they are aware of in the way of choices and resources.  If they reference some very questionable resource, perhaps one you know of contradictory evidence about (such as a disproven diet program), ask them if they have heard about the evidence putting it in question.  Bottom line though, is when you are asked directly for guidance, don’t be afraid to “guide”.  Coaches are also on a continuum from very non-directive to rather directive (at some point this end of the continuum ceases to be coaching and become consulting).  Do your homework and make sure your resources are valid ones.  Help your client to co-create with you how they will shape the components of their wellness plan.

2010 by Dr. Michael Arloski