This is about being aware of the dance, as you are dancing with your partner, your client. This is where you tap into your “third person observer” and take a look over your own shoulder. Bring your consciousness to the interaction that is taking place between you and your client. What patterns are you observing? What feelings are coming up for you about the interaction? Is your client showing up regularly and on time? Are they prepared for the appointment, perhaps having filled out a “prep form”? Are they succeeding at tracking their behavior where they’ve committed to do so?
Process the process. Sometimes you just have to talk about what’s going on! In coaching we like to help clients to look at “the elephant in the living room”. This is usually an issue that everyone knows is there but nobody is talking about. An example might be a family where there is an unwritten rule that nobody talks about how little time Dad spends with the family. In wellness coaching it might be a client who is coming to coaching to “get their ticket punched” (an insurance discount, some kind of incentive, or compliance with departmental orders), but whose heart just isn’t in it. Open, honest, and even blunt conversation and exploration about the coaching client interaction can clear up so much. Perhaps the client and coach never got clear enough about roles and “who’s responsible for what?”.
Agreements not expectations. Processing the coaching process on a periodic basis can help keep both parties satisfied with what is going on and clear about just what the agreements are. Unspoken expectations (on either side) are often where conflict begins. Operate on clear agreements that are always open for re-examination.
Awareness, mindfulness, presence, all seem to add up to being with our clients in a way that is totally respectful of them, their personhood and their experience while being as in touch with our own experience as we possibly can. It is about right here, right now. It is about being present with our clients within the context of clear agreements that support them in achieving lasting lifestyle improvement.
