--- title: Twelve Concrete Strategies for Helping Your Wellness Coaching Client Get Unstuck with Behavioral Change - Real Balance Certified Health and Wellness Coach Training description: Coaching strategies to circumvent the types of linear, analytic thinking, assumptions and self-defeating perspectives that hold a person back from success. Employs elements of Solution-Focused Therapy, TTM, metaphor and analogy, guided fantasy visualization to facilitate new thinking. --- ## Twelve Concrete Strategies for Helping Your Wellness Coaching Client Get Unstuck with Behavioral Change : By: [Dr.Michael](https://realbalance.com/component/contact/contact/michael-arloski?catid=4&Itemid=101) : September 7, 2026 ![Twelve Concrete Strategies for Helping Your Wellness Coaching Client Get Unstuck with Behavioral Change](https://realbalance.com/images/800x600/Snail_Treadmill.jpeg)   The people that wellness professionals and coaches serve sometimes hit a barrier that can cause them to feel stuck and unable to progress in their attempts at lifestyle improvement.  As their motivation, self-efficacy and progress diminishes we may also feel stuck in how to help. Our client shows up feeling discouraged, perhaps demoralized.  Maybe even so frustrated they are ready to give up.  They don’t know what to do.  They can’t figure out why they are stuck.  It’s easy to revert back to the old lifestyle patterns that weren’t really serving their health. Sometimes external barriers emerge that can grind progress to a halt.  Sometimes the barriers are more internal but whether the barrier is internal or externals **it is often a matter of how we conceptualize those barriers and that is really what keeps us stuck.**     **Coaching it up!** Let’s look at a dozen or more concrete strategies and techniques to circumvent the types of linear, analytic thinking, assumptions and self-defeating perspectives that hold a person back from success.  Let’s see how we can employ elements of Solution-Focused Therapy, the Transtheoretical Model of Behavioral Change, metaphor and analogy, guided fantasy, visualization and reframing to help facilitate new thinking and help our clients discover a way forward to successful change. ***“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”*** ***Albert Einstein***   - **1. Address the Know-Do Gap  ![Know Do](https://realbalance.com/images/Know-Do.png)** Your client ***knows*** what to do to be healthy and well, but they aren’t ***doing*** it.  They know they ***should ***exercise regularly, drink more water, get better sleep and so forth and so on.  They have usually experienced others telling them, perhaps repeatedly, to do all of these healthy behaviors yet the action just isn’t there.  **Admonishment** from health care professionals, family, friends, etc., seems to not move the needle.  Perhaps your client truly accepts that there are great benefits to be gained if they would only perform these healthy behaviors.  There may be a real desire to change.  There may be a stated ***intention*** to change, but, as James Prochaska was fond of saying,** intending to change and changing are often two different things.** For years the wellness and health promotion field has relied on providing accurate information about healthy lifestyles.  What was often missing was how to actually make lasting lifestyle behavioral change.  Here there may be cause for us to reflect and ask ourselves – **are we relying too much on education alone?**  Have we, ourselves, fallen into thinking that solid, evidence-based information will do the job?  Some ways to bridge the know-do gap can be found in all of the other  strategies outlined below. - **2. Be a Facilitative Enquirer** One place to begin is for us to examine how we are approaching our efforts to help our clients to get unstuck.   **Examining our way of coaching may help us discover how we can get unstuck with our stuck client!** To free up your client to do their best exploration and self-reflection they need to feel safe, heard and understood.  This is where the** *Facilitative Conditions of Coaching*** need to be provided.  (See Dr. Arloski’s blog **Unconditional Positive Regard: The Being and Doing of Coaching - Part Two**. [https://realbalance.com/unconditional-positive-regard-the-being-and-doing-of-coaching-part-two?highlight=WyJmYWNpbGl0YXRpdmUiLCJjb25kaXRpb25zIl0=](https://realbalance.com/unconditional-positive-regard-the-being-and-doing-of-coaching-part-two?highlight=WyJmYWNpbGl0YXRpdmUiLCJjb25kaXRpb25zIl0=)). Our clients need to be met with a true lack of judgment, with what Rogers called **Unconditional Positive Regard**.  When we show up with our clients with warmth and genuiness and provide empathic understanding they are freed up to explore their thoughts and feelings without concern about how they are being perceived by their coach.  This allows them to open up to new possibilities in their thinking and make new discoveries.  - **3. Be an Ally not an Expert** **You don’t have to know all of the answers.**  Remember you are taking the coach approach, not the way of a consultant.  What will allow you to facilitate your client’s work instead of doing it for them? It begins with the coaching relationship.  It begins with your way of being with your client.             ![mtnguide3](https://realbalance.com/images/mtnguide3.jpg)         **An ally climbs the mountain with their client.**  In coaching we don’t just help someone get started on the right track then send them on their way.  We accompany them on the journey.  We are right beside them so they don’t have to face their barriers alone.  We believe in the *Cornerstone of Coaching* that **our client truly is naturally creative, resourceful and whole.**  Instead of rescuing our client or doing the climb for them we are coaching to evoke from our client their strengths and inherent wisdom to allow them to grow and succeed. - **4. Get Clear on the What, the How and the Why of Lifestyle Improvement** To really be of help to our stuck client we need to be crystal clear that when it comes to lifestyle behavioral change, the **what **our client needs to do comes from qualified professionals – the client’s treatment team, registered dieticians, qualified fitness trainers, etc., etc.  **Our job, as a health and wellness coach is to help our client with how to do it in their life**.  We also help our client to discover their own **why **to do it – their own motivation.  Of course, we can provide, with permission, a very small dosage of suggestions, but that has to be within our scope of practice.  (See my blog post **Clarity on Scope of Practice: The What, the How and the Why of Lifestyle Improvement **[https://realbalance.com/clarity-on-scope-of-practice-the-what-the-how-and-the-why-of-lifestyle-improvement?highlight=WyJob3ciLCJ0aGUiLCJ0aGUiLCJ3aGF0IiwidGhlIiwid2h5Iiwib2YiLCJ3ZWxsbmVzcyIsImNvYWNoaW5nIl0=](https://realbalance.com/clarity-on-scope-of-practice-the-what-the-how-and-the-why-of-lifestyle-improvement?highlight=WyJob3ciLCJ0aGUiLCJ0aGUiLCJ3aGF0IiwidGhlIiwid2h5Iiwib2YiLCJ3ZWxsbmVzcyIsImNvYWNoaW5nIl0=)) The beauty of this clarity is that it frees you, the coach, up from feeling like you have to come up with solutions for your client.  Your job is to facilitate the process of your client finding solutions. - **5. Explore External Barriers and Strategize Through Them** All of our clients are part of a number of larger systems: their living situation, their neighborhood, their workplace, their family, friends and more.  Some of those systems make it easier to be well and some make it more challenging.   **As you are building your coaching alliance…inquire!**  Ask about where your client lives now and where they have lived in the past.  You’re not only building the coaching relationship and getting better acquainted you are exploring factors that can contribute or detract from their wellbeing.  **Some external barriers are interpersonal.**  To what degree does your client have support from others around them for the lifestyle improvements they seek: at home, among friends, in the workplace?  Engage with your client in strategic thinking and explore possibilities. **Social & Environmental Determinants of Health are powerful**.  Have your client educate you about their life.  Their access to safe places to be physically active, to healthy and affordable food and adequate healthcare, may be very different from your own experience.  Don’t coach on assumptions, inquire!  - **6. Challenge Assumptions ![Assumptions as a negative aspect of life - symbolized by word Assumptions and and chains to show burden and bad influence of Assumptions, 3d illustration](https://realbalance.com/images/AdobeStock_310924616_Medium.jpeg)** Sometimes people operate on assumptions that change is not possible or that barriers exist when they actually do not.   **Part of it is lack of awareness.**  A client may be frustrated by how hard it is to get transportation to their doctor’s appointments, when, in fact, their community has a free ride program for such appointments.  This is where coach and client can look past the assumption and explore what resources actually exist or what facts are really in play.  There are times a coach needs to be, frankly, part social-worker, connecting clients with available services. **Part of it is fear.** A client might assume that colleagues at work would not support their bringing their own lunch to work instead of eating at the fast-food restaurant like everyone else.  They may fear teasing, ridicule, or worst of all exclusion from the group.  Many different fears can arise from such assumptions in various situations and one way to stay safe is to not change behavior. As I’ve coached people around assumptions, I will gently explore their feelings and concerns about such assumed barriers and ask *“So, how do you **know** that to be true?”*  Clients usually reply – *“Well, I don’t know it to be true, but I’m afraid it is.” * (See my blog **Coaching About Fear: A Wellness Coaching Perspective **[https://realbalance.com/coaching-about-fear-a-wellness-coaching-perspective?highlight=WyJmZWFyIl0=](https://realbalance.com/coaching-about-fear-a-wellness-coaching-perspective?highlight=WyJmZWFyIl0=)) - **7. Facing Fear:**What If? While some of our fears come from assumptions as we have seen, some are due to **F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real**.  Realistic fear is something we need to pay attention to. Self-preservation is a really good thing! There are times, though, when we are responding to the appearance of something instead of what it really is. Are we responding/reacting to the story we have made up inside our heads about something? Do we have enough information about it? Is the information we have reliable?             Change can be scary stuff. “What will happen IF I do this?” **Your client may have some very realistic concerns about the potential consequences of them changing their lifestyle behavior.**How will this change affect others in their household, workplace, or friendship circles? What will be the reaction of others? Will it be support or push-back? Will our client face rejection from their friends? Perhaps it is their own self-doubt and low self-efficacy that makes them fearful about trying again and failing.             Explore gently with your client their concerns about any possible outcome for them taking action.  If your coaching alliance is strong, built on non-judgement, the trust may be there for your client to reveal what they are really afraid of.  There could even be a level of physical and/or emotional safety involved in even small steps towards change. **8. Defeat the Puzzle with Behavioral Change ![Confused and pensive expression of a black boy with many questions . cyan colored background](https://realbalance.com/images/AdobeStock_341816248_Medium.jpeg)** *“I just don’t know WHY I don’t do this!”  “Must be in my unconscious!”  “Must be something terrible!”* **Some of our best coaching for our stuck client can occur when we challenge our client’s thinking that there is a deep underlying reason that must be discovered to get unstuck.**  Our client is stuck perpetually searching for a reason **why** they are stuck and are not finding it.  Meanwhile they spin their wheels thinking about it and nothing changes.  Insight is not forthcoming despite a real desire to change. There are times, of course, when insight is like a light bulb that chases away the darkness and illuminates a way forward.  However, here’s the news flash: **insight may not be needed at all.**  Sometimes our client never does figure out what is holding them back and discovers that they don’t need to.             You may find that by helping our client to begin taking **small steps** towards change and having a **true behavioral change process** for them to implement leads to the desired change in behavior.  A well thought out Wellness Plan, consciously co-created with our client can lead to success.               In Self-Determination Theory terms our client may be tapping into what was initially  *Extrinsic Motivation *that has been* Internalized *and is now *Autonomous.*  The efforts at behavior change may seem to start with a “give it a try” attitude but as they client succeeds, well, *nothing succeeds like success!*  Self-efficacy rises. Now the change is happening out of the client’s own volition. - **9. Describing the Outcome You Want to See** Clients are sometimes faced with a situation from which there seems no escape, or at least not one they are willing to experience.  The situation may be a health condition, a relationship, a job, a barrier that seems to have no way through it or around it.  You may hear your client saying, ***“If it wasn’t for ____ I could be healthy!”***             One of the brilliant things that coaching has embraced is the idea of instead of continuing to struggle fruitlessly to find a solution to their barrier, **describe the outcome you want to see**.  The origin of this technique is attributed to Solution-focused Therapy pioneer Steve de Shazer who introduced **The Miracle Quesiton.**   *“The miracle question is a thought-provoking prompt that therapists use to help clients imagine a future where their current problems have been resolved. It invites clients to envision an ideal scenario where a “miracle” has occurred overnight, and their issues have disappeared. This imaginative exercise encourages clients to think about what would be different in their lives and how they would know that the miracle had taken place.” *( [https://sweetinstitute.com/solution-focused-brief-therapy-the-miracle-question/](https://sweetinstitute.com/solution-focused-brief-therapy-the-miracle-question/))  In coaching we can encourage our client to experiment with this question and perhaps describe how a day would be different for them in detail.  Don’t worry about how the problem was solved – it’s a miracle!               As your client describes their day without this barrier holding them back, what is different?  What different choices open up to them?  What are they noticing that is different?  As they explore options occur to them that could possibly be implemented today (even though the barrier did not miraculously occur).  There is greater clarity about what the client truly wants, and this may sharpen the motivation to make the desired change happen.             More often coaches use the shorthand version of the Miricle Question by asking the **What would it look like Question.**  Your client says I just don’t have the time to cook healthy meals.  You encourage them to imagine what it would look like if they **did** have the time.   Coach: *What would it look like if you did the time to cook healthy meals?* Client: *But I don’t have the time!* Coach: *Let’s just play with this a moment. Just imagine that you actually did have the time.  How would you really like to be cooking?* Client: *Well, if I really did have the time, I’d like to make more deliberate choices about what to cook and do more from scratch instead of relying on these convenience foods.* Coach: *What’s one small deliberate choice you could make tomorrow about what to cook?* - **10.Accessing the Unconscious** Your client may be having a hard time describing the nature of their “stuckness”, much less getting anywhere finding a solution for it.  **Linear, analytic thinking is going nowhere.**  This is where tapping into the vast storehouse of possibilities beyond our conscious mind can open up ways forward.             No, we’re not talking about hypnosis or anything like that.  A quick route into the unconscious may be a simple as asking your client: *** So! When you describe your situation, does any sort of image come to mind?*** Chances are good that your client will come up with a **metaphor or analogy **that describes their situation much better than they have been able to so far.   ![Rock Hop](https://realbalance.com/images/Rock_Hop.jpg) *It feels like I’m stuck on one side of a river and can’t get across.* *I’m just pushing a huge boulder up a steep hill in this job!* *Perhaps managing a team is like tending to a garden.* *            ***In a non-directive way help your client explore their metaphor.**  Stay with the language of the metaphor and keep inquiring, at times tying it back to how it applies to the situation at hand. Facilitate their exploration. We can also help our clients their stuck, linear thinking by using **visualization** and **guided fantasy.**  Naturally when our clients feel stuck they are usually trying very hard to get unstuck.  The harder they try the worse they fail.  Starting out by having our client shift to body awareness instead of cognitive awareness and guide them through some very simple relaxation prompts : focusing on slowly, progressively deepening the breath; let the eyes close or rest in a soft gaze; noticing where tension is occurring in the body and allowing it to let go.              This physical shift allows for the beginning of an arousal of the parasympathetic nervous system and a calming self-regulated state.  Thoughts may emerge more easily as well as slow down. Focus may improve.             As your client is in this more relaxed state you can have them imagine seeing themselves being successful at the changes they are seeking to make in coaching and noticing what all is involved in being successful. For guidance on how to to guided imagery/visualization work with you clients and to check out contraindications for its use check out  [https://www.coaching-sessions.com/tools-and-assessments/visualization-and-guided-imagery/](https://www.coaching-sessions.com/tools-and-assessments/visualization-and-guided-imagery/) - **11. Sorting out Readiness** **A lack of readiness to take action can be experienced by your client as a feeling of being stuck.**  Your client is unsure whether or how to proceed.  They have mixed feelings about moving forward with anything.  They say they want to make a change but they’re not sure.  How ready are they?             A real basic tenet of the Transtheoretical Model of Behavior Change (Prochaska, et.al.) and of Motivational Interviewing is that when people face the prospect of a change in behavior they are naturally ambivalent.  Prochaska’s research found that **only 20% of the time was a person in the Action Stage of Change for any given behavior**.  Stating the obvious – 80% of the time they are not!             Meeting your client where they are at in terms of Readiness for Change is fundamental to good coaching.  Your client may be so discouraged from past failures that they are in the **Pre-contemplative Stage**.  They may be considering change but may need your coaching to help them move through the **Contemplative Stage** **weighing the pros and cons of change**.  They could even be **preparing** to change or need help **maintaining** a change they have started.  James Prochaska would say that when people are in doubt they delay taking action. For a thorough resource for working with the Transtheoretical Model in coaching see **Chapter Eight of my book  *Masterful Health & Wellness Coaching: Deepening Your Craft.*** - **12. Forward the Action with a real Wellness Plan** Ask most people how they go about changing behavior and you will hear *I’ve just got to make up my mind to do it!* *It’s about determination!  Will power!*             To joke and say that people go out and buy a Nike Poster that says JUST DO IT!  Then, they try to just do it, and……             **Effective health and wellness coaching is far more than just goal setting**.  **Co-creating a true Wellness Plan provides a map** the client can follow through their efforts at lifestyle improvement.  By starting with a positive psychology and holistic approach we can help our clients take stock of their wellness, get clear about the kind of life they want to live.  It is the changes that will be required to get there that become their Wellness Plan.  .             To find out more about the Wellness Mapping 360° Methodology ã refer to my book ***Wellness Coaching for Lasting Lifestyle Change, 2^nd^ Ed. *the Third Edition of which is being published soon.** - **13 – Don’t Do It Alone – BONUS STRATEGY** Our stuck and struggling client may find that attempting to move forward with change is hardest of all when they do it alone.  In addition to the coaching ally people need other allies in their life.             **Continually Coach for Connectedness.**  Help your client to work through reluctance to ask others for help and support.  Your client may need to consciously work on expanding their circle of support as part of their Wellness Plan.  See my blogs: **Coaching for Connectedness – Part One: Why it’s Important **([https://realbalance.com/the-importance-of-coaching-for-connectedness](https://realbalance.com/the-importance-of-coaching-for-connectedness)) and **Coaching for Connectedness – Part Two: How to Coach for Greater Connection and Belonging**([https://realbalance.com/coaching-for-connectedness---part-two-coaching-for-greater-connection](https://realbalance.com/coaching-for-connectedness---part-two-coaching-for-greater-connection))    ![Michael outside](https://realbalance.com/images/Michael_outside.jpeg) **Michael Arloski, Ph.D., PCC, NBC-HWC** is CEO and Founder of **Real Balance Health Coach Training **([https://realbalance.com/](https://realbalance.com/)). Doctor Arloski is a psychologist, coach and pioneering architect of the field of health and wellness coaching. He and his company have trained thousands of coaches around the world. - - - - -